“…Put on a happy (lupus) face.”
In 2008, I started a blog, but gave up after two lame posts. Yep, I’ve got the attention span of a gnat and I swear my writing style is more Highlights For Kids meets US Weekly than let’s say, Time Magazine. (But really, who doesnt love Goofus & Gallant and dumb celebrity quotes?) Truth be told, it all seems a bit self-involved, and while I realize that is the point of blogging, I just can’t wrap my head around people wanting to read my thoughts. So why now? Well, I know I will at least have two readers, my sister Brie, and a good friends lovely wife, Penny. Gotta start somewhere, and hopefully along the way, I’ll pick up a few more followers. And more importantly, I hope to shed some insight and crack a few smiles with my ramblings. Because really, isn’t that what this is all about?
I’ve always joked that I am like the girl in the ABC After-School Special. You know, the awkward one that things seem to never go right for, and when life does get back on track, something or someone shits all over it. It’s been a struggle from the beginning, and unlike the girl in the show, my loose ends aren’t tied up nicely after a few commercial breaks. Don’t get me wrong, I live a good life. I have a career that I love, a wonderful husband who works so hard to provide me with all the Coach bags a gal could want, a roof over my head, food in the fridge, my sister for a best friend, supportive family, and a few amazing friends that I know I can truly count on. I’m blessed. I wake up every day knowing there are millions that have it worse. But as I said, I struggle. Who doesn’t?
Exactly four years ago today, a few weeks after returning from our honeymoon, my handsome new hubby rolled over in bed and woke up to find me resembling Will Smith in the movie Hitch. More precisely, the scene where Hitch eats seafood and his face swells up to something resembling the Michelin Man with severe facial deformities. And that moment began my journey with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus. (maybe one day I’ll post some photos of those tragic, swollen, early lupus-face days.)
I don’t intend for this blog to completely revolve around my life with lupus. While we’re at it, I’ve had 4 heart surgeries to correct a congenital heart defect, tetralogy of Fallot, and I’ve dabbled in cervical cancer. But these days, four years since lupus first reared it’s ugly rashes, it’s what I battle with the most. So please, feel free to stay tuned as I babble about my thoughts and fears living with this chronic illness, the too-frequent jokes I make to forget it exists, and my obsession with finding the perfect makeup and (paraben free!) moisturizer to hide it all!