If you don’t expect too much from me, you might not be let down…
Yeah, yeah, I suck at this blogging thing. Tell me something I don’t know.
Where to begin? Daylight savings. As much as I loooove having more time with the sun, I don’t understand how losing one measly little hour can throw my system completely for a loop. Since Sunday, I haven’t been able to decipher which end is up, and all the hot, caffeinated deliciousness in the world isn’t helping.
Made it through the 2 weeks of increased methylprednisolone without causing bodily harm to anyone in my path. I asked Steve how I was, and he was happily surprised there were no major steroid induced meltdowns. My oral methotrexate was increased, and I found myself nauseas all the live long day. Steroid munchies and chemo nausea is a weird combo.
I restarted my chemo infusions almost two weeks ago, and holy hell, it felt like the first time all over again. I threw up, I was having considerable bone and muscle pain, and I spent two days in a row in my warm bed hiding from the world.
Last Thursday I had my final tissue expansion for my breasts. I’m carrying around 450ml of saline in each of these bad boys, and now all that’s left to do is wait until my muscles are ready for the permanent implants.
I’ve expressed before that the expansion process has NOT been an easy or pleasant experience. Aside from how it’s affected me mentally (hold your jokes, please), the physical pain has been excruciating. There is no give, and they don’t move an inch. In certain positions it’s hard to breathe because of the pressure they put on my chest. There have been many tears shed, lots of frustration, and too much time playing Devil’s Advocate. At times I’ve needed Steve to get me off the couch, and I sat on the phone crying in Brie’s ear, because I was in too much pain to actually talk. Or, we will text about how fucking miserable I’ve been.
I’m such a pleasure to have a conversation with these days.
This isn’t the best infographic, but it will do to explain the process.
Left- normal breast before mastectomy
Center- breast tissue is removed and the pectoralis major is separated from the chest wall to accomodate the tissue expander.
Right- tissue expander is placed behind the pectoralis. The purple half-circle represents the port that is accessed to instill normal saline. The surgeon uses magnets to pinpoint the exact location of where to put the needle in the port. Yep. I’ve got magnetic hooties. And don’t think for one second I haven’t grabbed some off the fridge, and stuck them on my foobs.
“Look, Steve! I’m magnetic!”
This is NOT me, but is essentially what my chest looks like fully expanded, give or take a few mL’s. Boulder Boobs. They don’t move an inch, and it pretty much feels like the expanders are dry humping my ribcage.
Somewhere in between all this, I caught the stomach virus that has been running rampant in these parts, and my head and ass got up close and personal with the toilet. I had a few of those “oh fuck!” moments where I wasn’t sure which end should be aimed at the toilet bowl. Fun times.
Oh yeah, I also found myself with another breast infection, this time in my left breast, and was prescribed another 10 day course of antibiotics. Thankfully, it was nothing that needed hospital attention, the plastic surgeon aspirated fluid from around the breast expander to send off for cultures. But, I became emotional in the exam room, once again, wondering what I did wrong. She assured me that even though I’m not a typical oncology patient, the amount of chemo/immunosupressants I’m taking for lupus makes me just as susceptible to infections. Unfortunately, it happens. I love my plastic surgeon, she’s not all hearts and flowers (which I prefer), but when I need a hug, she knows the exact time to give me one.
You know me, I’ve managed to not be all pouty faced these last few weeks, and I’ve managed a few fun nights out. Last weekend was Steve’s birthday, and we had a Friend’s Dinner at a local BYO to celebrate. The food was delish (what i could stomach), and then we went to a bar around the corner so Steve and our friends could throw back a few to celebrate his birth. I played DD so he could let loose any enjoy himself. And by “let loose” I mean we were home by 12:30.
The week before was our 7 year anniversary. 7 years- it feels like forever. Steve surprised me with A NEW CARRRR!!!!!!
Pretty much what I looked like
Then we had a romantic dinner at our favorite restaurant in Philly. We got to talking how the last 3 years have been a roller coaster (oh, let’s be real, our entire marriage has been a roller coaster), and we both laughed and said at least I keep things interesting. I tried not to dwell on the things that won’t happen for us, and just relax and enjoy the life we have built together.
The evolution of lupus hair loss and prednisone, as depicted by anniversary pictures.
There are a few projects I’ve committed to, and I still haven’t gotten the chance to get them up and running. Aside from the mastectomy itself, this winter was a doozie, and I am happily awaiting the return of warmer days, so I can feel better and get to work.
It’s evident that blogging regularly isn’t in the cards for the time being, so I’m going to make it a point to have at least some type of presence on my Luck Fupus Facebook page
, and post something daily, whether it be an info graphic or a lupus based article. I hate leaving you guys hanging, but I do always appreciate the emails checking in. I feel like only posting once a month is not doing my part to raise awareness.
And because all of you have stuck by me as I fell off the radar, I’m pairing up with my favorite local Philly gals for a giveaway!
is the creation of Meri Dorfner, a Philadelphia-area artist (and my cousin)! MeriMint showcases her love of arts and crafts, creating handmade jewelry, fashion accessories, and home goods made from upcycled clothing and other media to form her gorgeous Etsy
Meri is offering a fantastic giveaway for all our readers….
- a $30 gift card to the MeriMint Shop
- a custom-designed piece from Meri
- a $10 donation to the charity of your choice, because there’s nothing like giving back!
The giveaway ends at 11:59pm March 18th! Good luck, and thanks to Meri, Brie (my sister), and the other gals who are participating. Good luck!!!!
Linking up with Shanna