Luck Fupus

A lupus blog…

What they’d give just for the right to hold you…

Happy April Fools Day, Fools!!

Today was supposed to be day 1 of the WEGO Health Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge, but for some reason I haven’t received an email with the writing prompts. Lame. Hopefully I’ll get them today because after 2 years of failing the challenge after a week or so, I am convinced the third time is the charm. 

Who can forget last year’s excuse for failing, the nose tampon debacle?

I digress.
Since I don’t have the prompts, I decided to write about something that has been weighing heavily on my mind the past few days. 
A blog post has been floating around Facebook this week titled, “The Joke is STILL Over,” which is the sequel to 2014’s popular, “The Joke is Over.” The author, Becky, writes that while unintentional, the Facebook/Instagram/Twitter April Fool’s Day posts of “We’re pregnant!!!!” are hurtful to those struggling with infertility or miscarriage.
I’ve never been big on April Fool’s Day, and I never tried the “I’m pregnant!” joke on a boyfriend/my husband/my mom; I didn’t see the humor in it. In the past, it never bothered me seeing others who attempted the prank, and it wasn’t until a few short years ago when I found myself being one of those who felt the cruel side of the joke.
The doors to my baby-making factory have been shut down for almost two years; I am infertile. My journey there is a bit different. Steve and I didn’t try to get pregnant for two years, I didn’t track my basal body temperature, there were no fertility medications or IVF.  
I remember being in Disney World with Steve, drinking margaritas in “Mexico” at Epcot, excitedly talking about starting a family. Upon our return, I was going to go speak with my cardiologist about pregnancy, and by the end of that year we were going to start trying.
In my cardiologist’s office, I was excited and nervous, armed with a trusty notebook and pen to scribble down every word he uttered. We chatted, talked about my heart defect and other health issues and how they affected my risk percentages if I became pregnant. As the discussion went on, the higher the percentages climbed. Perhaps I was naive, but hearing it all was dumbfounding.
A handful of my other specialists told me pregnancy wasn’t worth the risk.
Marla, it could be detrimental to your health, detrimental to the baby’s health. You could have a stroke, your lupus could flare, you could go into heart failure. You could die. Your baby could be born with lupus, complete heart block, tetralogy of Fallot. You work in the CICU, you know what goes on here. You’re already on the patient and nurse side, do you want to be on the parent side? Or have Steve be on the parent side without you?

Most of those words will haunt me forever. 
No, I don’t know the pain of getting my period month after month, nor will I have to deal with the horrible side effects of fertility drugs, or the financial burdens of IVF. But, I am infertile, and even though ultimately I’m the one who made that decision, I don’t hurt any less. I’m nothing less than thrilled when I see friends post sonogram shots, gender reveals, new baby announcements, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a jab to my wasted uterus. 
So, on this April Fool’s Day, I ask that you are mindful of the pranks you choose to pull. There are ways to be funny without hurting feelings. Switch out the office coffee for decaff!
Love you all <3

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  1. holli says:

    Hear hear sister!! Those pranks are mean and un-called for!! As you know I also cant have children and some days it sucks more than others. Quite frankly, I am not a fan of pranks. Call me a fuddy-duddy but I don't like them.

  2. Yes. sometimes pranks can just go too far!

  3. Your italics made my scalp tingle. That was and is and always will be some serious shit.

  4. Maya Northen says:

    Agree with you on the April Fools jokes, especially those that are painful or difficult for others. Too many unwanted surprises, real surprises, in life already without dealing with them as the result of a joke.

  5. Alyssa Whitt says:

    Not funny at all. Some women will NEVER understand that.
    April Fools always sneaks up on me. What I WANTED to do was go into my parents house and switch all of their family photos with pictures of random families from magazine advertisements.
    Maybe next year…

  6. Beautiful , Marla!

    But can we rewind to "sipping margaritas in "Mexico""? That's where I want to be.

  7. It's not funny and it is hurtful and it's just dumb really, we all know it's your lame attempt at a joke be original freaks!

    When K woke up this morning I told her to look out the window because it snowed last night! She's been waiting to "joke people" all week. 🙂

  8. Stephanie says:

    I definitely don't think it's funny, it's just not a good prank. Plus, it's so overdone. But, I'm also a little sick of people being offended at absolutely. freaking. everything. It's why I had to get off facebook, I was sick of the professionally offended.

  9. I completely avoided FB this year on april fools day in case one of my friends decided to play that prank. I think I would have found out where they lived and punched them if they did post something like that, but then again, I'm a little sensitive about it right now and the clomid has turned me in to the incredible hulk.

  10. Kay R. says:

    I have gotten the "I am pregnant" prank so many times and its never funny even as a person not in your situation, I just think its too much. Well written and Im sending so many hugs 🙂

  11. Caitlin A says:

    That joke is so fucking stupid, not only because it's hurtful but because it isn't witty in the least. It's so overdone and stupid, and add in the fact that it could possibly hurt someone, and it's just obnoxious. Lots of love to you. <3

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