Thank U, next… Mar 27, 2019
OK, so that’s a quote from Kate Welles, the character played by Famke Janssen in the (highly underrated!) movie, Love and Sex.
Ahhhh, the Wild World of Dating in 2019. It sure has changed a lot since I met my ex-husband in 2004. These days, no one meets organically; it’s swipe right, swipe left, something about coffee, Cupid, a bagel, and plenty of fish on Match.com.
It’s fucking exhausting. People, I AM TIRED.
A bit dramatic, but I’m sure you get the point.
It’s been 3 years since I ended my marriage, and I’ve had two relationships that turned into total dumpster fires. I can’t point fingers, I take a lot credit for their fiery destructions, but it’s undeniably made me take a step back and wonder if I’m truly that bad a judge in character.
With the exception of one of those two, I have never gotten back with an ex. Typically, once I’m done, I’m done. No turning back.
Thank U, next, if you will.
Once you find yourself thrust back into the throes of dating, you start getting a lot of opinions from those around you. If either good intentioned, or they’re too miserable in their own relationships, people have a lot to say.
My favorite is the ever-elusive, “Maybe you should just be alone for awhile. Find time to find the REAL MARLA. Why do you need someone? Take a break.”
Fuck you very much, please let me know how your own relationship is working out. I can’t help but wonder if anyone said that to my ex-husband when he got engaged to this soon-to-be third wife four months after our divorce was finalized.
As usual, I digress.
I’m thirty-seven. I own my own home, I have a job, carry my own health insurance, and the last I checked, I’m the CEO of Luck Fupus, LLC. I know who I am, and to be frank, the older I get (and the more I see the right therapist), the more I like the woman I’ve become.
I get lonely, and I’m not afraid to admit it. Divorce is sad and isolating on its own, but I don’t have kids to at least occupy some of my time. My divorced friends (who all have kids), tell me how lucky I am that my ex and I don’t have children. And in many ways, yes, we are, I would have hated to put child(ren) through that stress. But, the grass isn’t always greener. I live alone, I work from home, and I run my business from home. I go to my millions of doctor’s appointments alone. I spend the majority of my time alone, in this house; sometimes I don’t have reason to leave for days at a time. It gives me way too much time to think, to analyze my life choices and question everything. Why wouldn’t I want to have someone to spend my time and share my life with?
Several weeks ago I put a question out there to all of you on the social medias; what type of content would you like to see on the blog in 2019?
So the number one answer on the board- Dating/relationshipping in 2019 while juggling chronic illness.
Well fuck me, what the hell do I know about dating? For the most part the majority (not all!) of my interactions have been painful, at best. But, by all means, if y’all want to read about my antics with the opposite sex, who am I to hold back?
Dating post-marriage is complicated, something I was not at all prepared for. Probably because that whole marriage thing I signed into was supposed to be ’til death do us part. Dammit, I knew I missed the memo. We all have our shit after a failed marriage- debt, children, drama with the ex, alimony, insecurities and trepidations with trying to get back out there, etc. But I will say, playing the dating game while navigating life with several chronic illnesses adds yet another complex layer to an already arduous process.
So get the Jiffy Pop ready kids. More to come!
Love you all,